and remember… barbers are eevviill! (This is gonna be slightly offensive) Males, obviously! I AM SO ANGRY AND THAT IS WHY I AM USING CAPITAL LETTERS!!! It said 64 MEGABYTES!!! I'm not cringing at this, but this... this... is a flaming cesspool of rubbish. I know your shinin just fore meyyyyyyy (lalalalalalalalaland won the oscars slash awards stuff and then they didn’t i think in 2017 heheheheheheheheheheheh) ***THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANOUNCMENT: i am not in a very good mood and my writing may be affected *** what’s up with SPRAY CHEESE! I KNOW YOU’RE SHININNG FOR ME SITTIE UV SHTARS! Have a break, have a twinkiturkey [its the other way around, I think] …Next Commercial… (Annoying Hawaiian music) do you wanna go on a holiday (more music) then take a trip to (calm music that goes like ‘bowawawoh’) (sudden intense heavy rock) HAWAIYA! *taps his foot* *hums 90’s pop song* grabs chainsaw from behind his ear and cuts the elevator cord, plunging the box of awkwardness in to the darkness of forgetfulness and loss of meaning. (not for now)This was inspired by flamingchicken's Longest Text Ever. section 12345679 (all the mathematicians are nodding their heads while the OCD people are twitching nervously in the corner) says that the king of oddly coloured farm animals does not have any obligation to write if a false piece of information needs a citation. Bill, no bee and sick! It’s a title only few in the world have. i hope you are having fun. Remember: 1 peleion= $1,337,337,337,337,337,337 (1984 USD). (why is he called doctor suess anyway? As of 7-15-13. And back to our regular program. Question 9: what is ‘a fun game on the PlayStation 2’ Question 10: what food was described as ‘ok, Bob’? Turns out it was a parody of all the sites that have Flash animation intros. Also, there was a man who invented the windup radio and the shoe phone charger who died this week.” I know what you’re thinking: there’s no way this actually happened, right? Noooooooooooooooo — Yep. Well I’ve come up with a new food type! why do they always write WWII? So here are some crucial situations for you to read and laugh at me because you know I can’t hear you! And I would have links to places like YouTube and twitter (or whatever you young’uns go to these days! I didn’t care. Of course you do! It’s on page -7. 3… 2… 1… (((>))) well did that work? Find out next time on your favourite show, The Wheeeeeeeeeeeel of Death (Exurb1a). I just got word that we will be speaking to a memebr of this protest shortly. Once you obliterate the wall once, every latter time you lose that satisfying crunch. Feminists are great! But when stiching the mats together, BP realised that he has lice and termites in his fur, which are eating away at the mats. BEWARE IF YOU LIVE IN: The UK, Spain, Hungary, Latvia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Greece, Denmark and Armenia. And then they finished talking and you have no idea what they just said? Hooray! They were eating, of course! because listening to music isnt just about the instruments, the notes, the melody. SCREW YOU. I just got to thinking; how many tiny changes would a cereal company have to make to earn twice as much from a box of cereal? ok… whatever. You should try it. Me: What the heck is this guy doing here? That’s really sexist! as you know, sugar is EXTREMELY poisonous to chicken embryos *citation needed* (no more citations!) in section 6.02214129×10^23 of the rainbow fluffysheep handbook it says that trees are trees.. no matter how small (Horton hears a who). for these kind of questions, you have to work backwards. But the only thing is that I can't find either a colored horizontal line or a background color. TAKE A WILD GUESS!!!! Find out next time on “deer or no deer!” (Remember forehead sweets) oh no! If you fall for that news, you are said to have “ate the onion”. I do officially swear that some-- *snores* ACK! Hurrah! Like this: instead of writing ‘I’m back!’ I could say ‘internet mascara beagle Australia catamaran kipper’ and all you do is read the first letter! This is a short skit entitled: ninjas: explorers of time and space! The plot thickens….. Can anyone help me? YOU? The first order of business: Making some new entries into the Rainbow FluffySheep Handbook. Or the Citizens Rocking Under Derp. This Has To Have Over 35,000 words the beat the current world record set by that person who made that flaming chicken handbooky thingy. (((new-layer=1))) perfect, the default layer is 0. in the manual it said that i auto reset back to my original time and layer everytime i come back to type, which means if i want to come back here ill have to manually do it, shame. The end of that. Jim: r/whooooosh }. anyways, this time is strange. You are squirting your ketchup into your coke when you realise… How much do I put in!?!? UMM… WRONG ONE… HEHEHEH… WELL LET’S TRY AGAIN: Food & Drink: Apple (crunchy) Artichoke (chew before you swallow!) But I’ll finish it later. i am going to lower taxes, but increase happiness! ok. Well, that’s all I got for today. [(sound over intercom) emergency -emergency! Fast forward to the year 3018. One day it will tho, hopefully. -5-18-13- Lets talk about the Society of the Knights of Rhubarbs. So actually pillows are what keep me awake at night. I have officially declared him a class 10 Noob. Piece of bread! In Europe m&m’s are actually really healthy. In reality, at any moment they could fall to their impending doom! But this isn’t realllly about beating the record, it’s more about impacting the reader as a person. Thus… We have all become vegans. I’m having an existential crisis about my LoTeEv, because it’s not nearly the quality it once was. (Which is not a bad idea for my own website to get a lot of views (like I could a a tab on my website called “the best sites on the web! Well i bet in world war two the parents didn’t say to their kids: “hey jimmy?” “Yea, momma?” “Whatcha doin my lad?” “Im peelin me potaytoes and them I’m going to feed the cattle” “jo i mean with your life” “oh right mam! There are unicorns in the darkness! BA BUM. That’s only 1,000 Books! On to the CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL. Well, it’s pretty close. Booooooo-rrrrrriiiing! Puup eventually made the paperclip in an hour or so. He stareth at it liketh as a donkey stareth at grapes. The whole ink cartrige rant? In French that’s gendarme! In section 333 of the rainbow fluffysheep handbook it says that free pop-proof balloons will be sent to any hedgehogs in need. Yep, i guarantee you thats how it happened. Once I beat the world record I’ll be world renowned for being one of the greatest writers alive!everyone will know my name, from abe link to tommy ed. Can't stop talking about Maine. The remaining members formed the Coalition of Armed Forces and People for Very Long Abbreviations and Acronyms That Are Very Very Long We Will do this Forever Let's End at Long Last (CAFPVLAATAVVLWWDTFLELL). This is a radio station, so people can just hear it! Bye! DO YOU KNOW HOW LITTLE THAT IS! Chris Harrison hints that Tayshia Adams's Bachelorette season might not "end well." Why? Well then trade *in the Not-So-Evil Company Inc. and invest in the PELEION! When I was little, I use to always say “if it rhymes its true”. Reason 1. no bookstore. (Is that right? What was that person inventor of cheese in a bottle person thnminh! I’m coming Harold! Section 311619 of the Rainbow FluffySheep Handbook STATES that capital letters must only be used when emphasising GREATNESS, like the LOYAL READERS OF THE LoTeEv (ooh and also apostrophes) . Lol wat wat. Well I might as well tell the rest to you. If there are no wires, then they are probably using radiowaves; in which case you should insert your pillow into an untainted lead box. So how 'bout dat airline food? We hid them all under a tree, so no one would steal them. #Include “lifesimulator.h” void life(socialsecuritynum){ If (youremotion == “bored” && bool havejob == “false”){cout << “come and work at the c++ factory, where we code robots to take your job!!! I forgot something. Guys… I’ve changed alot ok… There’s new thing i gotta say… This is like a new year for me… Not even, a new era… A 2.0 on existence. Ahhh, the classic roses are red, violets are blue line. (It actually depends on what kind of sixth dimension you are in. you probably could stay at home all day and live of the dole and eat cheetos and live a reasonable life, but why dont you? He stole his idea from other peeps and just patented them as his own… What a loser amirite??!? Because if you have, the you have been promoted from herder of the rainbow fluffysheep to shearer of the rainbow fluffysheep. Skip ahead to the chorus of that song.. CRAZY FROG!!!) Take out the jokers and face cards, and tens are now zeros. Just in case you didn’t realise, I’m an introvert. Also, there was a man who had ten million euros, which he gambled until he got nine million of it back. I’m in London and I’m hangin out! In 1439 BC an Egyptian prince named Mappashuppa needed to fasten some things to his history paper. IM IN SPACE HELPPPP — Our portagonist is in grave danger! Bye!!! Actually, since it only matters for words count, I should just type really small words. there is one thing that i noticed though… an empty blank canvas might seem great at the start, but you have to realise, most of the art and interesting things that people have created were to overcome a struggle, in fact i would even stretch it to all art that humans have created. and, since all i said was (partial) truth, it will be a great era. HAHAHA! It’s TRUMP) What? As far as you know, a sub-reddit is just a burger at burger-galaxy (this is the cringiest sci-fi failure youll ever read). Gender! I think that the government has hidden thousands of tiny cameras facing upwards into the pillows, and the shiny parts are just the lenses for them reflecting light. That challengey things name. [(man in background) ummm bob? My goal is to find balance in order to realize a consistent daily % growth. Then all the brouhaha turned into World War III and Universe War I. How is that any better!?!? They did stuff. I don’t know, I haven’t had him for long enough to understand I’m back my fellow seekers of entertainment! The mat is a dream. Please End. Now i can start with a preposition too. Potato forces fought hard (wait actually soft) and launched a SURPRISE POTATO ATTACK! What word has men in it? And he will probably never type even one tiny weeny little sentence. So we ended school. Where did you get the number 946607 from? hitler was happily taking over Austria and Poland when he then decided to take over France but France built a big wall thing to keep him out on the border between france and Germany so all Hitler did was go through Belgium to get to France and THAT is when our story is taking place.) Had this been a real public service announcement then i would have – not been here! — Cashier: are you going to pay for that chocolate bar? I’m sorry to say guys, but I have finally and truly decided to stop writing this LoTeEv. And all the adults were like, “Wow, those are the most useless toys EVER!! Now listen very closely: you should opt out entirely from using “ok,” if you can, but especially “k,” unless you want someone to know that if they … See yaaaaaaa. Actually, trump is a businessman in that show where he says YOU’RE FIRED!!! Reason 2. people lugging around luggage literally the size of entire universes. They all say “oh, it’s SOOOO unhealthy” but I think that month-past-the-expiration-date-food is way more unhealthy. (Also, if they thought in that way, then bass tuna would be extremely perplexing because they are both fish). No more orcs! 5040 is a great number because it is divisible by 60 integers which i don’t know. too bad i probably don’t have any readers. Well if yes, let me prove you wrong. I caught you! He sat on a mat. The DL was, really suckish. But there’s more! If they did, why would they type in my LoTeEv for me?? Nooooo!! I worked for hours on end, making an app for a coding competition. they were the chicken nuggets of the vegetable world. Yes, but how could you see the little apostrophes when I’m talking to you?… Science.” And that’s how they work) where was I? I just did all of those cool things for realz and I’m not even lying! Out, out! I think it might be like a Twinkie or something)and twinkies(wow so is doesn’t really matter which is which because he eats both(i may have just done that so I didn’t have to Google what a fat cake is (right now I am typing on my iPhone 3gs anyway, which has a broken antenna so i can’t get internet anyway (it’s actually a really funny story that i’ll tell you sometime)))and sit in his man cave with his friend named Joe (an ACTUAL friend, not a fri end)and all Joe does is watch sports like football with bob and all bob does is gamble ferociously (don’t ask(it means he buys all those bags of chips that say “win a free monkey or something if you find a banana in your bag*”(if there is a little star it means there is fine print so I always check the back of the package) *flips over the package* okay, it says: “one of our workers accidentally threw a banana in the packing machine and we don’t want to get sued so we did this promotion thing” cool. You will get pushed back at the exact time you hear to thunder! (Actually, I have no idea what point I was trying to make). let’s goooooo — You walk into a room— the walls are covered in a strange green slime, while the room is cracked open to reveal sunlight pouring in. I think that people complain about preservatives way to much. So like this was inspired by flamingchicken's LTE and the other wall of text in the book "Pick Me Up". i will prove it to you. There ya go, a real FWP (First World Problem (theres so many abbreviations nowadays that eventually theres going to be no words, just abbreviations)). So I left off on the Codex and I will never show you the rest because I am a JERK! wait, let me try something. Let’s say you work for 12 hours a day, seven days a week for $20 an hour, that’s still 238 weeks! Don’t ‘They’ always say to make a story believable!? ill just pull out my dictionary and check the definition for the fifth dimention: THE 5TH DIMENSION DOES EXIST IN THIS UNIVERSE BECAUSE THE SHEPHERD DECIDED THAT IT SHOULD. YES, I JUST RENAMED MYSELF AFTER FEMALES. I’m back here again! and unborn chicken embryo starts running towards you, picks up a knife and starts screaming “MAMA! I wouldn't call Maine weird, just that hospitable state, or maybe that state that is maybe plotting against us. I just needed to get my anger out. Helllo I’m back! To protect rhubarb of course! I mean it wasn’t that great before but now all I talk about is meta stuff about the LoTeEv, which I don’t know if that’s good content or not? Besides, i don’t even have a lapel. I’m back! I think we now have all the information we need to prove that the illuminati is real. M.A attempted to regain control of the Smartboard we needed so very dearly much. I have changed for the worse. Stephen Helmes. bbbbbuuuuuuyyyy! Car pedals are so wierd because there is a brake, clutch and gas. (that last bit sounded like the ending of an Asterix comic.)} does that sound worse or better than today? That’s enough about my CrAzY life. "What a beauty, but such a great responsibility!" If you have honestly made it THIS far, reader then you have just been promoted from ‘some reader’ to ‘stable keeper of the rainbow fluffysheep’. That thing about Genevoius happened like 8000 billion years ago. . That wasn’t funny, steven.) I just realised that blankets actually are made of weird fluffy stuff, while PILLOWS are made of feathers. Nah just kidding, the SKR won. Well then you don't know me. It was the ugh im so sleepy right nao;p34tigrwj4gt3oqhwerioaejohu4wejom 7ws6yn††††††††††4ewfiagiaefgkwh3rwqidjkiljk2ewuhg4ejfklviynurbejvwnachubujnegrfwdasjmihnj˜ghrb vvgb *wakes up* Heh? {Warning: if you use this movie name you will BE SUED actually now that I think about it you probably won’t. its completely blank, theres no forces acting on me. Ever. Think about jacks, those little spiky things with the other round things that your throw and bounce them. I just realised that when I wrote the word color, it get a red squiggle underneath! to show your friends! Just one additional thing, you're doing this within the .then((el) => ....Did you try out .contains(regex)?I notice from your comment to Cory that there's a substring factor and was wondering if that scenario also works with the simpler .contains(regex). Ba bum. The Turnips United attacked, saying they were "the better vegetable". Pie is really hard to make. Which is actually really easy. It says all you have to do is convert the book into an antimatter form and- hey this sounds familiar! UNACCEPTABLE! How fun. i decided that i should tell you about fonts. TextLabel.Text = SecretService:Get(“ahhh”) -- Lets say ‘ahhh’ is a highly offensive term A solution to this would be prohibiting secrets from being shown to the user, ever. [wait… How is this supposed to work?] I’ll get him don’t worry circcy, I’ll throw you back through the portal *toss*. P.S- I don't know how many people have seen this thing, but thank you for looking at this. Some went, some stayed. What happened when I was gone? Also, adults always say stuff like “lookie here, cabbage is a new superfood!” “Howdya know ma?” “It what they say nowadays” “what time is nowadays ma?” “1945” (coincidentally the same family apparently) but who’s ‘they’ think about that, and listen to how often people say that. It is a suspiciously random number. Anyway, back to the conspiracy) Where were we? Puup eventually made the paperclip in an hour or so. I actually didn’t tell you why I like it. Im now but a frail old man with a typpewriter, penning his prose to the sky hoping that some flaming chicken somewhere will read this, and I can form these words to a cane and bop her upside the head with it. That makes more sense. Works well for me!! I have the box here and it says on it it can twist the top part which I never knew before! You cannot see me because I am a ghost, and I am a ghost because you cannot see me! (RANDOM SENTENCE) (we will call errybody 'sept me by their initials, to not piss one off.) Some people say that doesn’t count. He gets a strange look in his eye: Ambition. I am the Greatest Shearer of Sheep Himselfs security system. The ‘walkie-talkie almanac: a complete collection of all the knowledge YOU will need to acquire (did you know acquire is also a board game? And i got one once! i mentioned ham and sickness so green eggs and ham somehow! Yes, budget cuts he said. he finishes eating his cheeseburger (more like horseburgher(I learned that word from the merchant of Venice(which is a good play(if you can understand it(I can cause I got a special book with all the words in readable English written on the side of the page(which is kinda funny because Shakespeare was supposed to be a good poet but no-one can understand him(and he’s racist in act 2 scene1 of the play too))))))) and sits down beside you , like you are old pals (you’ve never met him before but he looks like he could be in some weird cult) he clears his throat and asks you a very personal question. So I left off on the Codex and I will never show you the rest because I am a JERK! When you are watching a movie (on DVD), don't you get pissed off when you see a preview for every movie made EVER and that takes like 90 years of your life and the rest is the ACTUAL MOVIE WHICH YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY SEE? after a few minutes of eating the plants, hee looks up and sees the flaming ball. I jerked my limb backwards, causing the huge metal pole to turn on a skewed axis. Team BP knows that this has to work first time, so they found the technology they needed, a third mat. It’s that simple. Weird, weird, WEIRD!!! Hello there, random chocolate bar. Tip, rip, port, type, write, writer, typewriter. I think I have a problem. I looked closer at it and that’s when I realised. Interview: how does Joe like his pepperoni? Fishermen used to go slow in boats, so we can remove the g forces, and we a left with ‘od’. Think about THAT, people! Now, I know what your thinking. ” ummm actually I was saying that men are fatter because back in the time of the PYRAMIDS if you were fat you were considered wealthy. Hey! im watching a funny show. But there’s more! Hey why the flop is he doing that?” “It’s just… a Thing that he does…” “Oh.” “I have a great idea for this! No underlining. now he is a counsellor for people struggling with a gambling addiction. Friendship isn’t about who stays the longest by your side but who stays the longest in your heart. 3, of course! What’s up with everyone wanting to deep fry things? A basic basement is transformed into a 1920s Art Deco-inspired home theater. In section 18w08b of the rainbow fluffysheep handbook it CLEARLY STATES that the king of oddly colored farm animals (that’s me!) Oh, try me. i realised that asdf is actually written in order on the qwerty keyboard! neither actually, just… nothing. I’m now walking down the street. And then i realised… No-one was driving us to school. | @/\/\ \/\/|~|-|-|/\/€ |/\/ @ $£[|~£-|- [[]|)£ []/\/|¥ @ |-|\_//\/\@/\/ [@/\/ \_//\/|)£|~$-|-@/\/|). TURN DOWN THE BRIGHTNESS, KING OF RAINBOWFLUFFYSHEEP! And the iPhone nano could be the strawberry (other berry names are trademarked) what else? A dog or a cat you may ask, to which I would say ‘nah fam’. Trump will no longer be president because of his orange skin. iiitttttttttsssss Johnny! And where are the fishermen!?!? (well what else would the walkie-talkie almanac be about!?!?) “yes sir?” What are you guys wearing?! I hope you do. And the he goes BWOWOWOWOW. That would make for a really stupid thing to read though. Yes sir, tis! ][wait… What? Now I do not know what to type about. Well the LAST place you would think to look for that kind of activity is a government-funded learning program! Maine... iiissss.... trying to take my spot as the precursor, the number is.... 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